The things I did wrong

I am Chris, a husband of one wife and 6 kids. I am quite doing well I must say but not as much as I would have been if I were to know the future. Charles Joseph Kickham says, “'Lots of time, sir, only if you don't hurry you'll be too late.' 'Lots of time,' 'but I'll be too late if I don't hurry.”

Life is so unfair not giving us a glimpse of tomorrow, or we get it but ignore it. I married 6 years ago to a beautiful housewife of mine. We are doing well but we had the opportunity to do better and we didn’t take it. I made grievous mistakes as I grew. I overlooked a lot of things and took important things for granted. I have always thought ‘Que Sera Sera: What will be will be”, not knowing that it is what I work for that will be. I am writing this so that you learn from my mistakes, you don’t repeat them and you don’t regret your past life.

#1 “Que Sera Sera: What will be will be”

The first mistake I made in life was to think no matter my response or reaction to life, no matter my level of seriousness or unseriousness in me, I will not be below the level I should go and I will never pass the level I would reach. That unknowingly damaged my psyche and made me have a nonchalant attitude to life.

I grew with the mentality that I will be whatever has been written of me, however, I didn’t work towards it. I thought life owes me, I never knew I am not in this life alone, how life could be so much concerned about me. This took a lot of opportunities from me as I always thought if one leaves, another will come. How I wish I could rewind the hands of time.

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#2 Time is on my side

What could have broken the camel’s back if not the thought that there is always time. How could I see a clock on the wall working day and night and still think I have time. If I had time truly, the wall clock should have stopped for me. Procrastination took over my life. I left so many things undone. I care not about opportunities that slipped away from my hands. According to Marilyn Monroe,  ”I have been on the calendar, but never on time”. That was just the bane of my youthful days.

I watered the belief that I am young till I became fragile. Now, I can’t be up like everyone due to age. I am fast becoming old. I am not as strong as 20 years ago. I can hardly lift a bag of rice like when I used to at 25. At my age, the wall clock refused to stop. It keeps working day and night and counting for everyone. A second wasted can’t be regained. Always remember, “He who gives promptly gives twice” - Publilius Syrus

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#3 I can’t be wrong

Exactly your thought about my foolhardy. I believed I can never be wrong. Attitude makes us. My attitude was nothing to behold. Jesse Jackson says,” If I can conceive it and believe it, I can achieve it. It's not my aptitude but my attitude that will determine my altitude—with a little intestinal fortitude!” I had such a very bad attitude. How can there be a mortal who won’t be wrong. I was resistant to correction. Even while treading the wrong path, I had those that advised me to do it another way, but no, I’d rather do it the way I thought.

#4 I must win all

One of the things that held me down in life was my winning mentality which is not bad, but my inability to handle failure. In life, I never knew you win some and lose some, no one wins it all. According to Walter Reuter, “If you're not big enough to lose, you're not big enough to win.” I didn’t know the importance of this until now. I have always fought hard to win it all, and if things didn’t go my way, I feel so bad that I lose continuously. It was obvious I couldn’t handle failure.

The chances one will make it in life are high when one knows the things to lose and those to win. Robert Greene in the book 48 laws of power advised not to strive to win all, but to select the best fights to win. Why not let the small things go and aim for the big ones. It was too late for me before I discovered I could have done better.

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#5 It is late

The greatest of my stupidity was when I thought I was too old to make changes or time has gone. In the words of Agatha Christie, “One doesn't recognize in one's life the really important moments—not until it's too late”. This brought a lot of tears to my eyes. If truly I started wrongly and still had opportunity, why not make the changes. I was truly stupid. It is better late than never but I thought if it could be late, then it can’t be fixed. 

Also see this: The Right words

In the poem by Violet Fane,

Ah, 'all things come to those who wait,' 

(I say these words to make me glad), 

But something answers soft and sad, 

'They come, but often come too late'.

Of course there are good things coming to happen but most times come late, therefore, you have to go all out to acquire them, else, they meet you when they are unnecessary.

I believed you must have lived life like mine, but you are lucky to be young and there is room for amendments. Please don’t end up like Chris. If Chris could still try, he might still make. “Now act as if you lost nothing”.

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